Family Ops: Sharing our agenda for a successful Weekly Family Meeting

Between work, kids, and endless to-do lists, the important conversations get pushed aside. House projects. Finances. That trip you keep meaning to plan. How you're actually feeling about everything.

My partner and I got tired of playing catch-up. So we started what we call "Family Operations," or just "Family Ops." It's a weekly meeting, and honestly, it's saved us from a lot of unnecessary tension.

Why we do this

We used to have these conversations whenever they came up, which meant they usually happened at the worst possible times. Late at night when we're both exhausted. In the car with the kids in the back. While one of us is trying to cook dinner.

Now we have a set time. Friday mornings after school drop-off. We sit down with coffee and actually talk through everything that needs attention. It's not romantic, but it works.

The meeting does two things: it keeps us organized, and it keeps us from resenting each other. When you know you have a dedicated time to bring something up, you're less likely to let it fester or ambush your partner with it at a bad moment.

How we run it

I've tried a lot of meeting formats over the years. This one actually stuck because we built in flexibility. Some weeks we're both running on fumes. Other weeks we have the energy to dig into harder topics.

We start by checking in on capacity. Rate yourself 0 to 10. Not "how much do you want to show up" but "how much gas is actually in the tank." If either of us is at 5 or below, we run the short version. No guilt, no pushing through.

Full version (45 minutes):

• Check-in: One thing you appreciate about the other person, quick life headlines, and if there's tension, name it with a specific request
• Logistics: Review what didn't get done last week, look at the calendar, assign 3-5 tasks
• Connection: Schedule actual couple time or share what you're hoping for this week
• Triage: What are we dropping? What needs to happen later?

Lite version (25 minutes): We skip the tension part entirely. When you're tired, you don't have the bandwidth to do it well. Just appreciation, calendar, top 3 tasks, and a quick connection moment.

The rule: anything that feels emotionally loaded gets scheduled separately. We call these "Depth Talks." Family Ops stays practical. If someone starts crying or shutting down, we pause and pick a different time to actually deal with it.

You can see our full agenda with all the prompts and timing in our Family Ops Agenda on Notion.

The tools we use

We keep everything in Notion. Both of us can add topics throughout the week, and it's all there when we sit down on Friday. Before Notion, we used a Google Doc. It doesn't matter what you use. Just pick something you'll both actually look at.

What's changed

We have fewer blowups. Not because we never disagree, but because we have a place to bring up the small stuff before it becomes big stuff.

We're more efficient. When you plan the week together, fewer things fall through the cracks.

We feel more like a team. There's something about regularly saying "here's what I appreciate about you" that keeps the good stuff visible, even during stressful weeks.

If you want to try this

Pick a time that actually works. We tried evenings first—terrible idea. We were both too tired. Friday mornings after drop-off turned out to be our sweet spot.

Start with a simple structure. You can use ours or make your own. The point is having one.

Get a shared doc or app where you can both add things during the week.

Be honest about your capacity. Some weeks you'll only have energy for the basics, and that's fine.

Stay flexible. The structure helps, but it's not a straitjacket.

The bottom line

I'm not going to tell you this will revolutionize your relationship. It's a meeting. But it's a meeting that's kept us from rehashing the same frustrations over and over, and it's helped us actually get things done instead of just talking about getting things done.

If you're interested in the details of how we run ours, the full agenda is on Notion. Or reach out if you want to talk through how to adapt it for your situation.